I Trust You, BUT…

prayer..

prayer.. (Photo credit: aronki)

As the day went over me like a tractor trailer, parts of me were left on the asphalt.

Our dog has bowel issues. It is ironic that I adopted a dog with bowel issues. It seems we share something in common. I spent a sleepless night dreaming my dog would die even as I prayed for healing until I fell asleep.

The next morning I became so worried over our dog that I felt unmotivated to do anything except linger in self-pity. I didn’t work out. I didn’t run.

As I looked around our house, I saw a ceiling that needed patching from the roof leak we found last year and fixed, walls that needed a fresh coat of paint, and a lap top that needed replacing. I see clothes that are wore out and socks with holes in them. As I got ready for work, I thought, “It’s such a bad day that all I need is a spider to show up in the bathtub to make it complete.”

I shrieked as I pulled back the shower curtain.

There was a spider.

It jumped and disappeared again into the folds of the shower curtain. I left the bathroom, shivering in fear. So I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. Driving to work, I continued to fall deeper into my mood.

I would have liked nothing better than to call in sick that day, bury myself in the blankets, drown in chocolate, and cry in self-pity. Emotions though don’t dictate my actions. It may influence my mood, but life marches right past my window. It doesn’t stop for bad days. I still have an obligation to report to work. Self-pity is not the same as a physical illness. I am a Christian practicing integrity. That means I blow dry my hair, apply my make-up, pour my coffee, and drive to work.

The radio plays music and I deny my mood what it wants to hear—depressing songs, moody songs. Instead, I remember my prayers the night before, how I promised to give it to God, and the next morning I’m taking it back, not trusting Him again even after I prayed healing over my dog in Jesus’ name. I drove to work and sat at my desk, facing the day.

Tomorrow’s a new day, I thought. Hope glimmered in the corner of my mind. In Christ, there’s always hope.

So even if I don’t have everything I want in life, I have Him and the blessings He’s given me, like a husband, friends, and the simple pleasures in our life. Somehow, Tony and I will make it as we go forward on faith. God did promise to provide for our needs and all we have to do is to own that promise while out of love for Him strive to be obedient.

And those spiders…

 

And my dog’s issues…

 

And the hole in the ceiling…

 

And the holes in my socks…

 

And the faded paint…

 

And the worn laptop…

…Well, some of those are minor and God handles the major and the minor. I’d rather have that than the stress of holes in my faith.

Coffee With God: Reading 2 Timothy

Everyday life gets messy. Interactions with people can become twisted, tangled masses of miscommunication. Our emotions can mislead, coloring our facts, and dividing friends. The words in 2 Timothy 2:4 said this:

To please the recruiter, no one serving as a soldier gets entangled in the concerns of everyday life.

It struck me because it’s one of three examples that Paul gives to Timothy. In my opinion, I believe concerns of everyday life means not getting trapped in the small things that matter little to the bigger picture. I tried to look up this verse for greater detail in my NIV study Bible, but it didn’t expand on the word “concerns.” So today as I walk through the hours I pray I don’t get entangled in the everyday concerns, worrying about where the food will come from, how the bills will get paid, or what my future may hold. I won’t worry about what people say about me and focus instead on the larger picture.

What do you think “everyday concerns” means in this passage?

Worry, For a Moment, Holds Me Prisoner

Barbed tape at a prison

Image via Wikipedia

Worry does nothing more than exacerbate the problem, your emotions, and play with your health. I pass a man every day on the road and put him in God’s hands. I do a drive-by prayer. When I glimpse that man’s face I wonder how he does it every day. How does he find joy in his circumstances? His expression is always set. It’s as if he floats through life; as if he’s given up. Where is the spark? Where’s that smile I remember so well? Where has his zeal gone to and who has stolen it from him? Worry, for a moment, holds me prisoner.

Then, I remember that God is in control. Verses sometimes flit by in my mind during those times. I feel the gentle hand on my heart, whispering loving things. I hand that worry to God and release it. I release it for now and I may not think of him again for another week. But always when I do think of him it is accompanied by a veil of sorrow for the man he has become and the man he has left. Worry knows no distance. It knows no walls and it knows many tears and nail-gnawing moments. But worry does not hold me so tenaciously as it once had, and I can push this one onto God’s lap.

It’s what we have to do with worry. We need to turn worry into prayers and trust Him to handle it. Superheroes exist in comic books only. We are fragile humans and need a God bigger than our problems. God is our superhero who comes, not wearing spandex and a red cape, but with power, holiness, all-seeing, all-knowing, and He comes with love.

And my cup runneth over.

I am not the prisoner anymore, and I want people who are prisoners of sin, of the world, to know God, to know Him as intimately as possible and to trust Him. You can’t know Him by feelings alone, but by His Word. Christ died on the cross and yet we make that cross and His sufferings so small. At times, we think we’re gods. Some religions even think they will become gods because they do not believe in the One who came to save us. Instead of worrying today about this man and others, I will turn that worry to prayers for worry does nothing more than exacerbate the problem, your emotions and play with your health.