Tag Archives: pews

How to Make New Friends

Good Morning

It’s daunting to make new friends. Most of us fear rejection, or even worse, forgetting a face and re-introducing yourself to someone you met last week. But if you are one of those people who say they don’t know many people, ask yourself these questions:

1: Are you sitting in the same pew or seat every Sunday?

2: Are you hanging out with the same friends all of the time?

3: Do you only hang out with people who agree with you and like the same things as you?

4: Are you more likely to ‘like’ something from someone you barely know at church on Facebook rather than get to know them in real life at a deeper level?

An old saying exists, “10% of people do 90% of the work at church.” We expect so much from the leadership, even from each other, when we attend church. Most people I know put limitations on themselves. Often, its, “I’m not comfortable meeting new people,” that I hear the most.

I’m not comfortable meeting new people either. In fact, I have re-introduced myself to someone I had not seen in years, forgetting I knew her, and suffered embarrassment. The embarrassment didn’t kill me. I’m sure she has forgotten that incident. The other day I introduced myself to someone I thought was new. He had been attending our service for years. So you are more than likely to make these mistakes, but people are often forgiving. It’s the effort that counts.

The other day a pastor from Christ’s Church of the Valley said, “Ministry is everybody’s job.”  Imagine what it would look like if we engaged the person one row down in a meaningful conversation after church? Some friendships don’t ignite on the first strike, others are merely embers that glow from the show of love by you, and some flame from an immediate connection. You won’t know unless you first strike that match and try. 

Lord, help others find the courage to meet new people. Help them become that loving person you made them to be and give them the courage to face rejection or their fears. In Jesus Name, Amen.

What are you doing to make people feel loved at church?

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Would You Notice?

When I think of my church, I think of the people I got to know, the faces, the struggles, the hurts, and the hang-ups. They are not a project or a ministry, but people who love God and people who want fellowship.

We talk about soup kitchens and outreach, but what about the missed opportunities to get to know someone in our church? Those are the ones that don’t ask for help, or whom have much to teach us.

As I write this, I am thinking of a friend who passed away at age 47. They became more than just people I prayed for, but friends.

What if someone in your congregation quit showing up? Would you notice?

When I ordered my (in)RL tee-shirt in April, I also received a package of cards with encouragement from Dayspring to send a card on a whim. So if someone quits showing up in our congregation, why not send a card, make a phone call, or send a text or an email?

Let them know they are missed!