Tag Archives: New People

How to Make New Friends

Good Morning

It’s daunting to make new friends. Most of us fear rejection, or even worse, forgetting a face and re-introducing yourself to someone you met last week. But if you are one of those people who say they don’t know many people, ask yourself these questions:

1: Are you sitting in the same pew or seat every Sunday?

2: Are you hanging out with the same friends all of the time?

3: Do you only hang out with people who agree with you and like the same things as you?

4: Are you more likely to ‘like’ something from someone you barely know at church on Facebook rather than get to know them in real life at a deeper level?

An old saying exists, “10% of people do 90% of the work at church.” We expect so much from the leadership, even from each other, when we attend church. Most people I know put limitations on themselves. Often, its, “I’m not comfortable meeting new people,” that I hear the most.

I’m not comfortable meeting new people either. In fact, I have re-introduced myself to someone I had not seen in years, forgetting I knew her, and suffered embarrassment. The embarrassment didn’t kill me. I’m sure she has forgotten that incident. The other day I introduced myself to someone I thought was new. He had been attending our service for years. So you are more than likely to make these mistakes, but people are often forgiving. It’s the effort that counts.

The other day a pastor from Christ’s Church of the Valley said, “Ministry is everybody’s job.”  Imagine what it would look like if we engaged the person one row down in a meaningful conversation after church? Some friendships don’t ignite on the first strike, others are merely embers that glow from the show of love by you, and some flame from an immediate connection. You won’t know unless you first strike that match and try. 

Lord, help others find the courage to meet new people. Help them become that loving person you made them to be and give them the courage to face rejection or their fears. In Jesus Name, Amen.

What are you doing to make people feel loved at church?


The Cool Crowd

English: People engaging in casual conversatio...
English: People engaging in casual conversation on a sidewalk in Owen Sound, Ontario, Canada. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ever see the same group of people gather together and you wanted to be a part of that? You’d think that feeling would be left behind in high school, but as we grow older we reach out to gain mature friendships sometimes to our frustration.

We get lucky when we meet that kindred spirit; the one that shares so much in common that conversation isn’t a problem; you meet the quiet one who makes you nervous and you have to make all the conversation; the sweet one who can effortlessly unravel your entire life story within a few minutes; and others with their varied personalities that add to our life. But making friendships isn’t easy, especially for me.

What if we converted what we have learned about building online communities to building real life communities?

Why can’t everyone join the cool crowd? Isn’t that what Jesus is all about—sitting with liars and low-lifes and sinners like me, and learning to grow together in Christ?

What do you think? Will you ask that new person in church or in your group to coffee? Will you extend your conversation to someone new?