Finding The Right Step

What do I do?

Do I lead stronger?

Lead softer?

Am I helping too much so a person comes to rely upon me too much in a crisis?

Am I not giving them enough room to lead on their own, or too much where they give up because it’s too hard and they can’t think beyond the obstacles?

New to leadership, I take one step at a time. It’s like a dance where occasionally I step on toes or go too slow or miss a beat. I’m looking for cues from the other to see where they are in their learning, to see where I need to encourage improvement, and to know when to step away to let them use their creativity to lead with their own voice. I am a control-freak. I squirm when I can’t control the outcome or control how a ministry goes in my absence, but I refrain from texting or calling or making anyone feel as if I am checking up on them as if I don’t trust them.

Because I do trust them. I recognize their strengths and their weaknesses—at least enough to help me understand what step to take next, or how soft to make my words. I’ve learned the lessons of others who want to control and how that control nearly killed my own voice, my own independence. That control curse is inherited in me and the best way to fight the controlling tendencies inside is to let others take the lead and practice refraining from interfering thereby making my role merely as support so that the ministry in question can grow strong with God leading the way, not me.

I’m taking the “I” out of ministry.

Because it’s not about me. It never was about me. It was always about God and His direction; His Word in the Bible. His instruction. I am merely a servant of His, and often need reminding of that fact. But also, I need to remember to trust Him when I am absent and when I am present.

In leading ministry, where have you discovered your lack of trust in God? What difficulties have you discovered in leadership?


2 thoughts on “Finding The Right Step”

  1. This is such a hard lesson for me too, Nikole. I always end up trying too hard. God often steps in and reminds me who is in charge. It’s very humbling. I wish I could learn this lesson the easy way, but it usually takes a big fat failure on my part…which sends me directly into His arms. I think that’s how he planned it after all.


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