I Am Using You

Faith Barista’s, Bonnie Gray once talked about comments in a blog post or email. She said each comment is a gift. Except, I whispered to myself, I am using my readers. That anyways was how I began early  in  my blogging days when I had not yet found my voice or  my heart.

Bloggers wrote about how to get ahead in the world of literature by leaving comments with a link. As I grew in my writing, I realized that behind each blog post is a person. Bloggers take the time to write their heart or invest in their blog by giving us valuable and free information. My google reader filled with posts that I began to follow and leave comments. Then, I invested my heart.

Leaving comments like, “Great post,” or, “Good point,” or other vague words doesn’t encourage a blogger because those words don’t warrant further conversation or discussion. Not to say I would despise my readers for leaving short comments, but if it’s sincere, then I am glad. Still, ettiquette seems to dictate online that if one blogger visits us, we must visit their blog.

One blogger apologized that he hasn’t visited my blog in a while. I follow his blog because I got to know him as a person. There’s a real community of bloggers who care about each other and some who are just trying for their fifteen minutes of fame in a competitive world. I have encountered a few of them. They are the same or similar people I have encountered who want me to critique their stories, but don’t want to critique mine. There’s enough apathy out there to warrant that we think about why we do what we do, and it all comes down to Bonnie Gray’s post about each comment being a gift we give to each other.

You may not see my comment on your blog. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t there; it simply means I couldn’t think of anything worthy to say. I couldn’t gift you with the right words other than to promote myself. And I may not have read your blog, and you may be a faithful reader who, like me, likes to read blogs because you got to know me like a friend.

But I think we do need to change our way of thinking in this commercial lifestyle. I am still using you, but not to promote me. I am using you to grow me. Your stories, your life, your  lessons, and you mean a lot to me. Anger dehumanizes people. I see anger all of the time on the road and in the stores, even in church, but here we can be honest, call each other out on our untruths or misunderstandings. We can gift each other with comments that encourage deeper discussions.

So thank you, Bonnie, for being such a positive influence on all of us!

Are you a self-promoter? Why do you read blogs?


9 thoughts on “I Am Using You”

  1. I am a relationship person, so commenting on someone’s blog is sincere–being a social media amateur I didn’t realize that it would also be a self-promotion. I am still navigating around this cyber place, so I am learning something new everyday. Thanks for the post Nikki, have a relaxing weekend ok?


    1. I’ve only encountered one that was truly obnoxious, deleted it, invited her to properly and geuninely comment in a private email to which she took offense. I don’t think she’s been back to mine. Most of my readers are relationship kinds, but nonetheless, commenting is a way to increase blog traffic. While I am fine with that practice, I have learned to make sure my comments are genuine and meaningful. I love your comments and I haven’t met many objectionable comments. I like hearing from my readers.


  2. I’m with you! I read another person’s blog to get to know his/her heart, not to get another follower for my own blog. If I comment it’s because something touched me or made me think of something worthy of sharing. Sometimes I just click Like; sometimes I don’t leave a comment, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed the post any less. When someone comments on my blog, I do treasure that just like it’s a gift.


  3. I guess I am an exception. I have always only commented when I had something to say to the person blogging. I never ever thought of it as a way to boost blog traffic. I have just enjoyed the fellowship. Thank you for getting to know me and others!!!!!!!


  4. Yes, thanks to Bonnie. I try to leave only genuine comments–if I have nothing to say, I don’t. With my own blog, I am thankful to anyone who stops by. I don’t get into “comment on my blog and I’ll comment on yours.” There are several blogs that I visit regularly where the author has never commented on my blog–and that is just fine with me.

    Enjoy your weekend Nikole.


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