For those of us with “Daddy Issues” we’re familiar with rejection. In fact, some of us base all of our decisions (whether we know it or not) on these issues from what church we attend, who we date or marry, to what friends we choose. There are identifiable behaviors that pinpoint this:
Grace Fox says we fear rejection when we: (1) apologize repeatedly for no reason; (2) pursue perfectionism; (3) pressure others to make us look good; (4) pursue unhealthy relationships like immoral sexual relationships; (5) focus on our own pain so much so that we neglect the people in our lives; (6) have extreme shyness; (7) have the inability to assert ourselves; (8) lie to cover our failures; (9) become overly controlling; or (10) imagine everyone will reject us. There were more, but some of these I could relate to as my “Daddy Issues” have influenced my decisions in the past and occasionally in my future.
My fear of rejection became so powerful that I sought out love and approval in unhealthy relationships, perfectionism, and imagined that everyone would reject me. This led to disastrous decisions in my past. But why do we think no one else has ever experienced and felt the piercings of rejection?
Certainly, the Samaritan Woman in John 4:5-26; the bleeding woman in Matthew 9:20-22; the woman with the expensive perfume in Matthew 26:7-13; Saul in 1 Samuel 10:26-27; and then, there’s Jesus; He faced rejection throughout His life on earth. They nailed Him to a cross. He died in our place. Some of us reject Him now because His teachings aren’t considered relevant or too harsh for our politically-correct culture. We’re still making light of His feat at the cross while we make decisions in our life based on what we want rather than on what He wants for us. We’re running away from our “Daddy Issues” because it hurts too much to feel the pain of rejection; it hurt the first time. Why would we put ourselves out there the second time to feel it again?
Because our Heavenly Daddy would never reject us. He can fill the void left by our families. He can give us the love we missed growing up. He can listen to us cry. He does anyway even when we think no one listens to our muffled cries as we lay in bed at night. When no one understands, Jesus is with us. Our “Daddy Issues” are a crutch, an excuse, and we need to abandon it. We need to move forward in spite of our fear of rejection. We need to focus instead on His promises.
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” – John 10:10
Question From The Lesson: Can you identify negative messages you’ve carried about yourself from childhood? If so, what are they, and how have they affected the way you view yourself and your abilities?
I was given a complimentary copy of this DVD & Study Guide set from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services (www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com). You can buy this DVD study here.