Read Isaiah 30:18
Today’s study has hit a nerve. I can apply the fear of inadequacy to my life. Every project that I put forth I fear making a mistake. I fear becoming irrelevant. There are moments when being a leader causes me to say no to projects because I feel inadequate for the job, thinks someone else is better suited, or because I feel that my past will have a negative influence on the project.
Perhaps that’s why I can understand Moses. Grace Fox says, “He put his focus on the wrong place rather than on God who called him to the job.” I can’t help what other people think about me and I know I put too much importance on this fear. God called me to write. He calls me to lead at times, and I can’t back down just because someone else thinks I’m irrelevant. God has been planning for a long time to lead me away from the safety of the wall.
I remember my first experience with the wall. Dances were held in my town for junior highers. I was in the eighth grade and went to one of those dances. I remember going out into the dance floor and dancing with my friends. Suddenly, through the parted crowd, I see the bullies and they are laughing at me. I let it affect the rest of my evening and my life. I felt safe near the wall. No one can laugh at me if I am not giving them anything to laugh at, but that reasoning has hurt me.
The bullies were given too much power. I have a history of giving too much power to the toxic people in my life, but God soon wrought changes in my life to get me away from the wall. He encouraged me to take risks.
Risks are a part of my fabric. To some extent, I have always taken risks. I have always pushed the envelope even when it got me into trouble. In recent years however, risk has become a tough task. I fear what effect it would have on my job, on my relationships, and yet it has never occurred to me until a year or so ago that my concern should be on how risk affects my relationship with Christ. Fox says, “God requires risk.” As she said this in the DVD I think of all those missionaries. I think of the people I admire at church who take risks every day. She also says, “Do it afraid.”
I remember reading a quote about how courage is not without fear, but it is in doing something in spite of your fear. Every day I carry not just my lunch and purse to work, but an unhealthy dose of misplaced guilt, fear, and distrust. Living the transparent Christian life is not without its struggle or risk. God wants us fully committed to Him and freely asking Him for help. He loves to help and strengthen those hearts who are committed to the journey He has laid out for us. Like Moses, there’s a plan He has for me and all I have to do to find joy is follow Him. I tremble as I push away from the wall and go out into the dance floor. People may laugh at my attempts. They may despise me. But I will dance and I will laugh in the joy of the Lord.
From the Lesson: Write a prayer asking God to give you a heart that’s humble and fully committed to Him. If you struggle with fear of inadequacy, tell Him about it and ask Him to give you the courage to face that fear.
I was given a complimentary copy of this DVD & Study Guide set from the author in exchange for posting the author’s interview on my blog. This blog tour is managed by Christian Speaker Services (www.ChristianSpeakerServices.com). You can buy this DVD study here.