Take My Fractured Pieces and Make Me Whole

“As a result, your prayer life changes to a twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week living, walking, breathing relationship with Jesus. Begin now drawing nearer to Him in prayer.” – Pg. 20, My Prayer Chair, Reflective Life Ministries

“Life begins to feel fractured when I don’t often seek Him in prayer,” I said to my friend. Lots of good things are crammed into every spare nook and cranny, making use of the time He has given me, and striving to be wise in the stewardship of that time. But we can get carried away.

Our pastor once preached how even good things can keep us from greater things. In this case, my friend spoke to me about how good it was to sit with Jesus and get into His Word after a prolonged absence. She felt fractured.

I agreed. Many times when good things make me crazy, I feel like a plate that has shattered on the floor—in pieces, frenzied, and yearning for rest. Carla McDougal said prayer is, “twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week living, walking, breathing relationship with Jesus.” This is true and that makes my Sundays easier.

My Sundays are for service, not worship. Because I serve, it’s hard to worship in the traditional sense. The band is playing and I am letting God use that day to stretch me, make me uncomfortable, and change me by serving. In ministry, you see and feel too much. It can become overwhelming which is why my worship of Jesus happens seven days a week through conversation and prayer; and what I need is that time on Jesus’ lap in His Word.

That’s when Jesus takes my fractured pieces and gently puts them back into place. He eases away the stress and helps me love better when I make time for Him.

I mean, we make time for our friends to shop, to drink coffee, or to go on a road trip; so why do I put Jesus last? Isn’t He my friend, too?

So I am making a more conscientious effort to make time for Jesus in my prayer chair, my prayer bed, or my prayer kitchen. Some people have prayer closets. I sit in places of my house where it’s most comfortable—the place that matches my mood. Everyday is a chance to worship Him with what we do and how we live; in how we pray.

Are you feeling fractured this morning?

Join me once a week as I go through Carla McDougal’s new study. The last post can be read here. 

I’m Going to Pick Up My Staff

Read Psalm 25:4-5

This is a series based on Carla McDougal’s new Bible Study, My Prayer Chair: A Living, Walking, Breathing Relationship With Jesus. As you read this, you are walking through her study with me. You might remember that I did the same thing with her first Bible Study, Reflecting Him. I don’t know how long this will be, but if you need to catch up, you can go to catagories and look under Book Reviews/My Prayer Chair.

Like Moses, we make excuses when God asks us to step out of our comfort zone and do extraordinary things that absolutely terrify you. In Carla’s case, she was being asked to lead and write a women’s Bible study.

In my case, God asked, over time, first to speak to a group of women on a topic dear to my heart; then to a writers group on how book reviewing and critiquing go hand-in-hand; and finally, to lead a prayer group which still takes momunmental effort because it’s way out of my comfort zone. But none of these things were done without prayer.

Carla begins her chapter speaking about the inspiration for the title of her Bible Study, My Prayer Chair. Her grandmother had a special rocking chair in which she prayed diligently. In reading that, I felt a bit of shame because I take God for granted and rush to His side when I have realized it, to crawl into His lap and hold on for dear life. I pray diligently, but in several spots, over the course of the day, and sometimes like the other day, in my own favorite chair in the living room. Sometimes, I even escape into the bathroom for private prayer.

While my daily, normal prayer is fine, sitting in my quiet living room and being still is by far the most intimate and where I worship God best. I have trouble praying in a large group, especially for a long period of time. Sometimes, I’m into it, and other times, I struggle. I hear every squeak of the chairs, every burp, every sniffle, and when the phone rings I hear it. I hear every intake of breath, and when we are asked to take turns praying the anxiety builds and I begin rehearsing what I am going to say. It’s never flowery or as nice as other prayers, but to speak what’s on my heart is too intimate. Then, there’s my other worship.

I write. It’s how I worship God. I write and I get out. Writing, like a sponge, is when I can wring out all the excess and make sense of the chaos of daily life, like what I am doing now.

I am writing this and it’s Friday. The television is off. It’s silent. I have a glass of Francis Coppola’s Pinot Noir Diamond edition. I followed Carla’s suggestion when she said to pray first, then read the required scripture. I asked God to reveal what He wants to reveal to me. And I am just basking in God’s presence right now. He’s looking over my shoulder as I write. I’m sure of it.

But is He pleased with my life?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? Is He pleased with my choices? Is He pleased with the every day normal that I live? Lately, I have been making excuses about missions, and until recently, kept it far from me. So I tossed my excuses to the ground with all the rest of the litter, and I commited to a short term missions trip next year to Honduras. Naturally, I also volunteered my husband. He didn’t even know of my desire, like I didn’t know of God’s prodding in his life to lead a men’s group.

Who knew?

I guess there is a lot of us Moseses out there, making excuses, living the way we want to live, instead of living the way God would want us to live.

It’s time to pick up my staff.

Are you making excuses to what God is calling you to do?

Book Review: Altar Ego (Becoming Who God Says You Are)

Uplifting, bold, and enthusiastic describes the mood of Altar Ego: Becoming Who God Says You Are by Craig Groeschel. In fact, this book had many quotables in it so much so that one quote inspired an entire blog here. But what is Altar Ego’s central theme?

Groeschel begins by tearing down the labels we give ourselves. “That’s why God’s truth about who I am transformed my life and hope. Paul writes, ‘Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!’ (2 Cor. 5:17 NLT, emphasis mine). No matter what others have said or what you’ve believed about yourself, even if the negative labels are true, God can give you a new view of yourself.”

He said if you are not physically fit; believe you can be physically fit. Groeschel talks about how his wife struggled in an area of her life because of a label she believed and when he encouraged her to think of herself, her altar ego, under a new name his wife overcame the obstacle and was able to do great in her classes. But Groeschel doesn’t stop at labels. Altar Ego: Becoming Who God Says You Are is all about transformation. Liberally laced with scripture references, Altar Ego talks about integrity, honor and respect, too.

“Isn’t it tragic,” Groeschel says, “that we live in a world where people are more shocked by a display of integrity than the lack of it?” He defines respect and honor as two different things and that, deserved or not, we should give honor as something someone doesn’ t have to earn and respect is described as something earned.

I did disagree with one portion of the text on honor, but I won’t go into it as it may not have anything to do with the accuracy of the text as more of viewing it through the lens of my past and taking it more sensitively than I ought. I fear others who have gone through what I went through might look at that with the same jaundiced eye I did and question the usage. While I won’t go into what it was, let me say that someone looking at that text from a normal viewpoint would find nothing wrong with it, and when I step into their shoes I can see the simplified message. In normal everyday life, I can even agree with it. He also points out honor from the political spectrum.

Altar Ego shows in an example how even a Republican and Democrat can honor something or someone without agreeing or tolerating something against their beliefs. His section on honor is what everyone in our society should read and practice and it was a good reminder for me, too. Groeschel speaks boldness towards the end of the book—bold prayer, bold living, etc. My favorite part of the book is what rarely anyone seems to practice anymore; that is, not being silent when a friend is doing something unbiblical.

“The mindset of never offending anyone anywhere has overflowed into the church as well. More and more, I hear Christians say things like, ‘You know, I don’t want to upset anybody, so I try not to speak too boldly about my faith.’ Consequently, a common mindset in the church today is that to be good witnesses, we need to just let our actions speak for us. Don’t get me wrong, this is a great place to start, because hands down, we do want our lives to reflect Christ. But there are times when we can’t just let our lives speak for us; we must use our words to witness boldly as well.” Groeschel follows this line of thought with an example of his outrageous and humorous fear of snakes, especially copperheads.

Overall, I gave this book five stars because Groeschel speaks fiery encouragement into the milk-toast Christian, hoping that they close the book bolder than when they first opened it. To learn more about Craig Groeschel, click here.

*book given by the publisher to review.

You Can Be Compassionate

Courage (Photo credit: Pete Reed)

The most alarming aspect I’ve observed in this Christian culture is what happens when a Christian stands against something popular. The worst backlash isn’t from the secular crowd (though that’s bad enough), but from that person’s own Christian brothers and sisters. They accuse that Christian of being hateful or judgmental, using words that aren’t true of that Christian person or business.

Once Christians were a group reputed to stand for something and now I’ve wondered if some have traded truth in favor of popularity, money or fear? Standing against something popular tends to put you in a bad light. People nowadays define compassion as agreeing with the other person’s choices. The definition of compassion per the dictionary is, “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.”

You can be compassionate while disagreeing with someone. Love doesn’t necessarily agree with everything the person stands for. I have liberal family members and I still love them, but I certainly don’t agree with them. If they struggled with misfortune or whatnot, they would still have my love and compassion though I may not agree with their choices.

So when a Christian stands for biblical truth, let’s clap them on the back for having the courage to speak rather than using words designed to shame and silence them. In this age where everything goes, it’s refreshing to see that kind of courage.

Have you experienced this? How did you deal with it?

Hoping For a God-Change

Yada. Yada. Yada. Yada.

That’s been my attitude. Like putting proverbial ear plugs in my ears when Missions becomes the topic. My perspective was colored by the past. Missions held a stigma for me. But in truth, I made excuses.

In re-reading here and here, I realized those excuses were a defense system–a heart condition of unforgiveness. The past made Missions undesirable combined with a fear of getting overly emotional or being moved so much that I would change. Like I said in the last blog post, I am not comfortable exhibiting emotions. I certainly don’t like crying in front of people. Then, as I re-read the last posts, I saw the truth.

My excuses.

My unforgiveness.

My roadblock.

I emphasize my roadblock because that’s what it was and I asked God to remove those feelings.

So now excitement trembles through me as I and my husband plan our very first short term missions trip to Honduras next May. We are even thinking of doing local missions projects in the in-between. We both realized, with no children, there is nothing holding us back from doing short term missions or serving for a few hours at a local missions organization. My husband and I are hoping for a God-change. What I mean by a God-change is for God to further peel away layers from our soul that He doesn’t want to remain.

The timing is right. Ten, five, or even three years ago, I still struggled with stuff and wasn’t ready. I needed to go through what I did in order to be ready for God’s purpose for our lives.

So I ask now that you pray for us as we begin fundraising in May. I will periodically post details and even have a page where you can send your donations. I will also have more information on the missions organization itself so you can see what we will be doing and why.

Stay tuned.

Have you gone on a missions trip? How has it changed you?

Sunday: Self-Reliance or Faith?

“God is strengthening my faith: showing me how he goes before me to prepares the way.” – Wendy Pope, studying the psalms.

http://backgrounds.crossmap.com/loader.htm?id=1013&size=1600×1200&wallpaper_title=jesus-beautiful-savior-1

I don’t need to DO anything. God will do it. I just sit back in His strength and own His promises. There are so many examples in the Bible how He prepared the way without man doing anything, including examples in my own life today.

Do you trust Him today?

Are you compromising your situations with reliance on you instead of Him?

Does technology and today’s thinking make you rely less on Him because He’s “so yesterday?”

Dear Lord,

Today I pray for so many requests, including my church service this morning, and Lord, I pray to rely on you more and more, to SEE you in my life and remember what you did to save my life so that in times of darkness I may recall and be strong in my faith in your promises. Thank you, Lord Jesus for dying on the cross. In Jesus Name, Amen.

“God Still Meets Needs” Available Now

http://www.amazon.com/God-Still-Meets-Needs-Stories/dp/1482087359/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1361411004&sr=8-1&keywords=God+Still+Meets+Needs

My devotion, “Love Letters Only,” is one of 143 other authors who contributed to a book called, “God Still Meets Needs,” compiled by Mark Littleton.  Enjoy!

People Who Influence

What people influence you? And how do they influence? Why do you admire the people you admire? Is it because they are godly people or is it how they dress? Are the people you admire shallow and image driven or deep in the Word of God? Maybe it’s their magnetism that draws you to them. Whatever the case, the people who have that kind of power of influence that draw us should be people who inspire us to godly things. They should shine like an arrow pointing right at the scriptures and the God behind the scriptures. That’s what Bonnie does over at Faith Barista. Today is her first blog post in a long time.

She asked, “What is your word for 2013?”

Relationships.

Because without relationships, people can’t see Jesus working in our lives in tangible ways.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your word for 2013 and why?

Book Review: Something Blue

Something Blue by Dianne Christner defines hero a bit too glibly. The tag line says, “A hero isn’t always easy to spot.” However, the story doesn’t live up to this tag line. Rather, it’s a story about a girl torn between two men.

Chance is Megan’s boss’s brother. Flying planes is his obsession as is being a pilot missionary in Ecuador. Red X’s mark his calendar in the office of Char Air as he impatiently waits for his brother to return. His brother took a leave of absence after cheating on his wife. Megan Weaver is an assistant to Chance’s brother, and now to Chance. It’s not easy keeping your mind on your work when a single, good-looking Christian pilot is now your temporary boss. Chance is not a Mennonite and that brings an added complication to Megan’s crush.

Throw in another man with more honorable intentions into Megan’s life and the pot is stirred. Now Megan is caught between the wrong man and the right man with enough of the lines blurred as to make her question whether her Mennonite faith is worth holding on to as Chance claims to be a Christian, too.

Micah is the pastoral candidate for Megan’s church. Brother Troyer died in the garden of the parish house and the search committee chooses someone younger and single, much to the dismay of some of the gossips and the delight of the single, young women in the parish.

As Megan sticks to her beliefs, Chance becomes more aggressive and angry. However, Christner takes Chance’s character only to the edge of his anger. The novel doesn’t become one where Micah needs to run to Megan’s rescue. Complicating Micah and Megan’s friendship is the misunderstanding that Micah thinks Megan loved Chance until gossips force the truth out in a confrontation. The novel was good, except for one part.

When Megan and Micah discussed Chance’s Air Force background, the military was put down. I understand it was part of the storyline as a Mennonite’s belief is pacifist. Still, I didn’t like how long that conversation went about having to kill people and had to deduct a star for it. Megan discounted Chance as relationship material because of his non-Mennonite and military background. Also, because he wasn’t firm in whether he wanted to marry Megan even if she moved to Ecuador to become a missionary with him. In past books, Megan has always been a bit more worldly than her friends. What was left unanswered in the novel was her urge to serve as a missionary in another country. For a while, it appeared that both Megan and Micah’s storyline headed towards a missionary conclusion. Her dream fizzled with no memorable explanation.

A real plus to Something Blue came about when Micah refused the offered candidacy until he got the gossip’s approval. He served the gossip until he broke down her barriers and found out why she hated him and others. The conclusion left me pleased. Overall, I gave this novel four stars.

*book given by author as gift with no obligation to review.

The Beauty of Trust

from: http://hdw.eweb4.com/out/436653.html

Damaged people trust little.

The beauty of trusting in spite of my reservations had the consequence of friendship. I know people will let me down, but I chose through this study to live a life as if I had never been damaged. These women in my Bible study are truly wonderful and caring people as I am sure many women are and it’s just our circumstances that color our outlook and make us so wary that we hide instead of trusting in God.

I found myself opening up slowly, pleasantly surprised by how much I have enjoyed this study.

Beth Moore said in our study committing what has damaged us to God is letting go of it. She also said that feeling pain means you love. Beth Moore said to not close up or shut down. Pain can isolate us from the blessings God has in our future. By not trusting Him, we forfeit such beauty as trust.

The friendships I am making and the authentic conversations during study feel like someone just blew the dust off of my old heart, reminding me how much I still hold back. In five years, this is the first time I have reached out, not in ministry, but in friendship. I have isolated myself out of protection and that’s not living. Living is risking vulnerability and authenticity.

You fall.

God picks you up.

As long as you keep letting God pick you up, you’ll be blessed and taken care of, for we worship God in spite of our circumstances. And I don’t want this weekly gathering to end. It’s been so much fun.

Do you hold back?