Tag Archives: Relationship

What Love Looks Like…

Love05
Love05 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s the little things, like the hours he spends cleaning the house while I am at work, or how my “sister” drops everything to listen to me on email. Love looks like a dozen little things a person does for another or the words in a greeting card sent just because. The words and actions that illustrate love cannot be substituted one for another—it must be done in conjunction with each other.

If my husband cleaned the house, but never told me he loved me it would be difficult emotionally to connect with him. If my husband only told me the words, but spent his time serving only his own needs our marriage would suffer. Friendships are the same way.

Love looks like friends who are interruptible. They hear the pleading phone call or text of a grieving friend and say, “let’s meet for coffee.” Love looks like phone calls at midnight when you have to go to work early the next morning, but you lose sleep because there’s a crisis. Love prays even when it’s sitting on a toilet seat in the bathroom the moment you get the email or phone call asking for immediate prayer. If friends only looked out for their own needs and often said only the words, the friendship would fade like a flower cut from the rest of the stalk, or crash like the buds on a tree frozen by Winter’s last blast. If friends barely communicated, but showed up for what their friend needed a friendship would be in danger of fading, but never in danger of crashing. Too many times we misunderstand the responsibilities of love.

We’re all words or we are all action. We love the scriptures that talk about love, but turn away from those who need us to exemplify it. Selfishness butts its head into the friendship or the marriage becoming an unwanted guest who only seeks to drain it. Love is work. It’s always work. Love walks and talks. It’s where we look beyond ourselves and see our choices for what they are and not how we want to see them. Some twist love to emotionally blackmail someone, or it’s quoted but never acted upon. Love doesn’t look like this; love cleans the house without being asked; prepares special meals for ordinary days; sacrifices time when one would rather be somewhere else; and love shares. It splits a donut and lets the other pick which half. That’s what love looks like, but often I see the twisted versions and wonder if people’s hearts are made of stone.

What does love look like to you?

Words From The Heart

 

“I was angry at you.” E said.

That’s what is great about our friendship. She can say that without massive repercussions. In fact, I encourage all of my friends to be honest. Perhaps it’s because in the past I’ve watched my mother get offended at every slight and felt too fearful to confront and talk to her for fear of saying the wrong thing; that’s the landmine of our former relationship. Everything exploded on contact.

And it hurt.

My husband and I have a great relationship because when I’ve done something wrong I’ll listen. If he’s done something wrong, he listens. Both of us are quick to apologize and that offense is never mentioned again. Once forgiven, it’s in the past. The same holds true in friendships.

I don’t want people to fear being honest with me. I don’t want my husband to skulk around the house afraid to set me off. I want honesty, words from the heart to wash away the dirt of the present, and begin anew. If Jesus could give us second chances, shouldn’t we bestow upon those around us that same grace?

“It’s okay to be angry at me.” I assure my friend.

You can be angry at me, too. You can tell me anything. I love you and pray for you every day. Your emails will remain confidential. Your comments encourage me. Your readership makes me think of new and fresh topics to write. It gives me pleasure to pray for you and to hear from you. Let’s throw away the darkness in our lives and cleanse our souls with His Word. The past may have broken us, but there’s beauty in brokenness. I’m thankful in that and in the honesty of true friendship.

Do you get offended when your friends get angry at you? How do you diffuse the situation?