Book Review: Love and War

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage by John and Stasi Eldredge

Step One involves a change in our perspective. We take the life we have right now, and we say to ourselves, We are in this together.” Pg. 118

It’s difficult to read a book aimed at challenging marriages when my marriage is healthy. I am not and never have been “disappointed” in my marriage and never felt “responsible” for his unhappiness when we’ve always discussed any object of his happiness. Overall, the mix of humor, wisdom and personal experiences make this book ideal for troubled marriages, except for the introduction.

Introduction: It Can Be Done goes very slowly. I began to wonder about how this related to the rest of the book and finally after struggling and skipping a couple of pages, I got to the point of the introduction at the end of the book. This caused me to dread the remaining chapters. If the introduction went this slowly, how am I going to get through the rest of the book?

Stasi likes to talk. Especially in the morning, as we’re heading into the day. Or in the evening, when we are getting ready for bed. I’ll be standing in the kitchen in the morning, and she’ll start a conversation from the bedroom and she’ll just carry right on even though I am running the blender and no rabbit could possibly hear a thing she’s saying. Then she’ll walk into the room and ask, “Well?” Or at night (from a room away) and I’ve got the sound of a car wash in my head and I can’t discern half of what she’s holding forth on. – Pg. 41

John’s humor surprised me. He won my favor by simply mentioning that he likes to hunt and loves the outdoors. The humor broke up the seriousness and helped me to relate in most instances. Not in all instances. There is much wisdom in these pages. It’s helpful for new marriages and I’d recommend this book to new and troubled marriages; maybe even required reading for those engaged to be married. The writing is good and biblical. The humor fades.

The topic gradually became more serious and I interrupted my reading less to read parts of it to my husband (who laughed). The book is written to include both John and Stasi’s points of view in the marriage. It was interesting to note the man’s point of view in a common marriage discussion. I reached the last chapter about sex and laughed. What Christian book speaks so candidly about sex? It’s not x-rated. It’s a candid discussion.

I was eavesdropping on a conversation between two couples—both empty nestors—about what it’s like when the kids are gone: “It’s wonderful—we have more time for Bible study,” one couple said. Bible study?! Are you crazy? “We get to walk around the house naked and make love whenever we want!” the other couple said. – Pg. 176

While the book (for me) was difficult towards the end to finish I did finish it. Except for the introduction it was well written, well thought out and well organized. If your marriage is troubled I would recommend this book. After all, the vows you made on your wedding day aren’t to be taken lightly.

Book provided by the publisher. All book reviews are objective.

2 thoughts on “Book Review: Love and War

  1. I have enjoyed some of John Eldredge’s books. Struggled through others. I’ve always been able to pick out some good things to learn. Sounds like this one is consistent with my experience. Thanks for sharing, Nikole.

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